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Every three to four days, I was taken to Deepti mam’s beauty parlour. She was very sincere in her job and she left no stone unturned. She ensured that even a trace of manliness was removed from my body. My entire day was spent in practicing the things learnt and beautification. Meanwhile I had started thinking of myself as a girl who was going to be a bride.The wedding ceremonyFinally, the day came. I was awaken early in the morning and was ordered to keep fast that day. Some of Sunita mam’s friends (all of them were girls of course) had also gathered at Monika mam’s place. I prepared tea and breakfast for them.After taking bath, I was instructed to wear a yellow saree. Then they took me to a temple where I worshipped Goddess Durga, Parwati & Lakshmi as per their instructions and asked them to give me their blessings so that I could become an obedient and dutiful housewife. After coming back from the temple, I changed my saree and was taken for the ritual ‘haldi’ where haldi powder. Despite being a semi-regular I always felt as out of place here as Homer Simpson at a Mensa convention. I motioned to my favorite barmaid, Lisa. She's my favorite because she laughs at my lame-ass jokes and tolerates my even lamer flirting. The gorgeous brunette also doesn't giggle when I order a Zima as the others do. It doesn't hurt that I tip lavishly, like a Tokyo businessman at a Sailor Moon cosplay.Tonight, I switched to a Mojito, savoring the minty aroma, masking the pervading scent of testosterone and chewing tobacco. It felt good to be out, away from my house where I normally sit home alone more often than McCaulay Culkin, stoned, talking to my dog and Amazon Echo and laughing maniacally at chick flicks and Benny Hill. Quickly I made my way to my favorite spot, a small, lonely oak table in a dark corner. How could I feel such overpowering sorrow in a place full of raucous laughter? That is my mutant ability. My second rhetorical question; why am I even here? I rarely drink.
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